Love is a strange thing as you never really know what to expect.  Sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometimes weird.  I never expected to be in a long distance relationship (LDR), but it just sort of happened.

In my experience that's how love goes, it just sort of happens.Click To Tweet

I was in a LDR for over 2 years.  Not a lot of time in the big picture of things but enough to learn a thing or two.  Over those 2 years I learned a lot about love and relationships and just thought I’d share a few of those thing with all you lovely people.  Here’s some lessons in love from a long distance relationship.

Lessons In Love From A Long Distance Relationship - psbarbosa.com

1. Adjusting To Change Takes Time

In and LDR one moment you’re together, the next you’re miles apart.  It’s not something that you won’t notice.  You go from seeing each other every couple of days, to seeing each other every couple of months, if you’re lucky.

Any significant changes that happen in relationships take time to get used to.   New jobs, moving in together, getting married, kids etc.  Most of us are reluctant to change.  It’s only natural.  Change signifies the unknown, a disruption from the routine and most of us are creatures of habit.  I know I am.

It’s important to understand that things that make us feel uncomfortable are usually good.  They push us out of our comfort zones and force us to grow and adapt.  Be open to change when it comes.  You might just learn some things that will help you and your relationship grow and flourish.

 

2. Technology If Used Properly, Helps

Let’s be real.  People in LDRs today have it pretty easy.  Can you imagine being in a distance relationship even just 30 years ago?  You might not see your significant other(SO) for months on end.

In today’s day and age however, a lot of times couples don’t spend quality time together even if they’re in the same room.  We might be in the same space but both be on our gadgets, computers or phones.  Technology in this case can push people apart instead of bring them together.

With the today’s technology, you can see your SO’s face everyday, talk to them anytime you want, and send them a message instantly.  Anytime, anywhere.  Technology has decreased the distance in relationships.  There really is no reason you can’t get in touch with someone anymore.

Instead of letting technology distract from a relationship it can be used to improve it.  Send random text to your SO to say I love you, call them via face time to see them.  Technology if used properly can help bring people together.  It’s a valuable tool that we often take for granted too easily.

 

3. Little Things Make All The Difference

It takes 1 second to tell someone you love them.  Either on the phone, through writing or via text.  Small gestures like this to show your SO that you are thinking about them help keep each other connected.

Telling them about your day and what’s going on in your everyday life might seem like a trivial thing but it’s those trivial things that we often take for granted that can make all the difference.

Grand gestures of love are great, don't get me wrong but it's the daily things we do for one another that can really make a relationship great. Click To Tweet.

 

4. Love Won’t Work Without Trust

Where you going out on a Friday night?  Who you going out with?  Oh no you not!

Need to know where your SO is at all times?  Who they’re with and what they’re doing?  In a distance relationship these thoughts and feelings can be amplified x10.  It’s hard to not think about what your SO is doing thousands of miles away but any negative thought’s just don’t do any good.

In any relationship, trust is of the utmost importance.  Without it you have nothing.

You will drive yourself mad thinking about what your SO is doing or might do.  Questioning their actions and  doubting them can also drive a wedge in the relationship.

Nothing you can do will make someone do or not do something.  Love is all about trust, and that means making yourself vulnerable but that’s the chance we all take with love.

 

5. Any Time Together Is A Gift

The old saying goes “Distance makes the heart grow fonder” which I think is true for the most part.  Being in a LDR  you’ll never take a minute together for granted again.

Time is a scarce commodity.  Time with the ones your love even more so.  A lesson better learned early than before it’s too late.

By spending time apart you realize just how valuable actual time spent together is.

Time spent together with someone is a gift and blessing, it should never be taken for granted. Click To Tweet

Learn to cherish every minute spent with your SO as if it were your last, I know I will from now on.

6. Communication Is Key

The key to any good relationship really.  Distance makes things a little more difficult.  As mentioned earlier technology helps but there still are challenges.

Communicating over text, face-time and phone has its limitations.   During the 2 years apart I learned how to be as clear and concise as possible to avoid miss-communication.

No one is a mind reader so being able to clearly communicate with your SO just helps keep things running smoothly.  Communicating well  takes practice and usually lots of it.  It really is amazing how much being able to communicate well with each other helps.

LDRs don’t necessarily improve your communication skills but you do get a lot of practice.  We all communicate differently too so learning how to best communicate with your SO is something worth spending time learning.

 

7. You Can Overcome Any Obstacle If You Truly Believe It

You will come across many obstacles in relationships.  Some large, some small.  Distance is an example of one of those obstacles.

Some people think distance relationships don’t work out, other’s say love knows no bounds.  Truth is what you believe will likely become your reality.

I went into the LDR believing that things will work out and that it is possible.  Even when no end was in sight I always knew I wanted to be in the relationship and that the distance was part of the relationship.  No matter what I was certain that we would do what it took to be together despite the distance.

If you truly believe in something you’ll find a way to make it work.  This is true to the attitude you take to just about anything in life and not just love so remember to believe in what you want to achieve.

 

 

Final Thoughts On Lessons In Love From A Long Distance Relationship

I was in a LDR for just over 2 years and can now safely say things worked out.  Guess we did an OK job at the distance after all and learned a few helpful things along the way.

All relationships are unique in their own way.  There is no right way to be in a relationship.  There’s only what you willing to do to make it work and what you’re not willing to do.

For people in an LDR, yes it can work and work well.  Just remember to communicate well, trust and believe in each other.

For people not in and LDR don’t ever take time with your SO for granted.  It’s a gift, you might not realize it but believe me, you’ll miss it if it’s gone.

 

~ LET’S CHAT ~

Now that you’ve read about my experience in an LDR I want to hear from you.  Are you in and LDR or ever been in one?  What did you learn/are learning from it?  Or just let me know if anything in this article was helpful at all.  Looking forward to hearing from you all!

 

 

~ LET’S CONNECT! ~

Don’t forget to say hello on Twitter @HeyPSbarbosa or if you’re more visually oriented come follow me on Instagram @psbdaily

If you like what you’ve read and want to stay current be sure to subscribe to the blog so you’ll never miss a post.  I always love hearing from people so don’t be shy to leave a comment or just say hello, happy pursuits!

Paolo

 

12 thoughts on “Lessons In Love From A Long Distance Relationship”

  1. When I met my partner and we were dating while living in the same city I was told: “I could never make the long distance thing work.” It was said in the context of talking about other couples that we knew. I did not really pay much attention then, since the prospect of the LDR was not on the horizon. Well, at one point, it turned out that we would have to live further apart. And you know what? The distance did not matter (or at least wasn’t a deal breaker), because we were both invested in one another.

    So yes, it is not easy, but it is doable.

    1. Great to hear that distance did not matter. It is really hard to really think about it until it is upon you. Not the easiest by definitely doable indeed. Thanks for stopping by and for leaving your thoughts!

  2. I was briefly in a LDR a few years ago and I completely agree with your lessons. I think LDR’s teach you a lot about relationships in general. We are extremely lucky now to have technology – like you said, I can’t imagine 30 years ago what it would have been like. This is a great post!

  3. I was in a LDR in 2010.
    My boyfriend then decided to move back to Ireland without discussing it with me.
    Tried it for a month, but it didn’t work out. I grew apart from him, also he had no plans to move back, and I had no plans to move there. It’s pointless if we will never actually ‘be together’.

    Kelly
    http://www.thiswayandthatway.com

    1. Not discussing moving away is definitely something that could put a wedge in a relationship 🙁 True, has to be some sort of plan for the future together. Thanks for sharing you experience Kelly!

  4. I agree Paolo. I was in an LDR for a while and then we got married 🙂 I’d add that one must also be secure to be in an LDR (which goes along with trust). Wondering what the other person is doing without you can wreak havoc on your brain.

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